I have chosen to drown my sorrows in bangs and eyeliner.

It's insane how much those two simple things help with feminization. If you're struggling with gender dysphoria as a trans femme and you don't have bangs and eyeliner, I would recommend trying them out.

Just a few days ago I was complaining about how I was having pretty bad dysphoria compared to the week before. It continued to plague me until today, when I decided that it was time to put on makeup.

I feel fine now. It just so happens that those days I felt bad line up perfectly with days that I didn't do eyeliner and my bangs were misbehaving. That just goes to show how effective these things can be at battling your inner demons.

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Obviously I don't look fantastic, but I feel comfortable and I value that more. Recently I've been working on not being so harsh on myself and just living authentically. I've only been transitioning for like two years at this point, but if you're a newer trans person (femme or not) I would really recommend you try to be nice to yourself and other trans folk. Back when I was try-harding voice training I saw a few new trans people insult other people's voices because they weren't passing. I did that too in my head for both voices and appearances. Back then I was very concerned with passing and I thought that anyone who wasn't was giving "us" (quotes because that is not the real us) a bad reputation.

Trans people are valid no matter how good they look and no matter how passing they are. That goes for you too, so treat yourself like it.

With that aside... Let's talk some more about eyeliner and bangs!!!

Eyeliner

There are plenty of "quick and easy tricks to help feminization" out there on the internet, and if you've looked at any of them, you've probably seen something about eyeliner (and bangs). Let me just say, those tips are correct.

MY TIPS FOR GOOD EYELINER:

1. Get somewhere you can safely and comfortably try different styles.

   Safety is important for everyone, but if you are not out yet or if you live in an unsafe place, try to find somewhere that you feel not only safe, but also comfortable trying many different styles of eyeliner. Just do your best to avoid getting bullied or other types of negative attention.

2. Don't go too hard on yourself!

   For the longest time I had eyeliner, but didn't use it. This was because I was worried I'd do bad. The problem with this kind of thinking has been talked to death, but you never get better if you never start. Personally, since I have began using eyeliner consistently, many of my cis friends and my own family members have complimented my ability to do eyeliner. Not in a good for a yada yada kind of way, but genuinely. Don't be afraid to start, and if your first couple tries don't look the best, welcome to the club.

3. Try a lot of different styles!

   Not every face looks good in every type of eyeliner. The kind of eyeliner that you really want to wear might not work on you, and that's okay! I recommend (once you have the skills which I'll help with further down) trying as many different styles of eyeliner as you can think of and seeing what works for you. Back when I was learning, I did a very small wing centered on my eye, but over time I've found that a higher wing and thicker lines do me well. Generally you're going to want something to widen your eyes since that is seen as feminine. Or you could do guy-liner idk.

4. Whatever happens, it's okay.

   Lastly, just try to remember that even if you don't feel like peak woman after trying every shape and style of eyeliner known to mankind, it's okay. Chances are you at least felt a little better, and in that case, if it's safe, I would say wear eyeliner whenever you can! If it makes you feel better than before (even just a little) do it! That's how transitioning works. It's slow, but overtime the little things that make you less dysphoric add up.

Okay, got the tips out of the way, now for instructions for actually applying it.

First things first: use liquid eyeliner if you want to get the big sharp lines like me. Also just in general it's more fun to draw with.

Aside from that there's just one more important thing and that's hand placement. I have naturally jittery hands (get that from my dad) so learning this was absolutely crucial to me.

The proper way (and the easiest way) to place your hand when drawing on eyeliner is with the palm on your chin.

If you have jittery hands like me this is a life-saver. If you don't, this is still an essential bit of information since it keeps everything steady and allows you to focus on the shape you're making. Palm on chin, point the brush towards your face and kind of hold it like a reverse spoon.

Also remember to draw on your eyelids with the eye open to see what you're doing as it will look when you're done. And finally the most important thing I ever learned ever: THEY ARE SISTERS, NOT TWINS! Literally my mantra when I'm doing eyeliner. Your eyes don't have to be perfectly even, just close enough.

One final thing before you start doing eyeliner. This is the last one I promise. WATCH YOUTUBE TUTORIALS!!!

Eyeliner Tutorials

What I watched:

• Women’s Makeup For Dummies - Icky
• Trans Feminizing Makeup Tutorial! (Beginners Guide) - Peachybunnn
• Chaotic Trans Girl Shares The SECRETS To Feminizing Makeup! - Alice in Wonder1and

Also remember that literally anyone can wear eyeliner. Trans women aren't the only ones. You can use any other tutorial on the entire internet and still learn how to do eyeliner - that's what cis women do if they learn online. I just personally watched videos only by trans women because I looked up "trans women eyeliner tutorial" back in the day.

BANGS!

Now for the other part of this post: bangs. Arguably bangs do more for feminization that eyeliner. First of all they are always there, but there are bigger reasons behind the effect that bangs have on your face.

I just want to say that technically men can have bangs, but really only women wear bangs here in America, so that is automatically going to help with you being recognized as a woman. Something to watch out for though is that it could be dangerous to have perfect feminine hair and still have a beard or other masculine features, so try to hold off on bangs until you are at least a little androgenous. that being said don't be scared out of having bangs unless you really would be in danger.

One of the ways that bangs help feminize your face, is by hiding two key features: your forehead/hairline and your brow. Obviously if you have a receding hairline (like mine, although it's still very good) cutting bangs will help you conceal don't feel. As for your brow: generally, individuals exposed to testosterone grow a thicker brow bone (and more brow hair). That means your eyebrows stick out further than you want. Bangs (as long as you cut them to hide your eyebrows, which I'd recommend) hide your brow. A plus side of this is that your silhouette or side profile become more feminine as well as your front. Two birds with one stone.

I used to be very self conscious about people seeing me from the side. "They'll see my manly ahh profile!" But since I got bangs it's much nicer. I even think I look good from the side now.

That being said, let's get into how to get bangs!

How to get bangs.

This is pretty simple: go to a barber. Make sure first that they are a good barber that supports LGBTQIAWHATEVER and will listen to you when you say you want a feminine cut with bangs that cover your eyebrows but don't go into your eyes. If you go to a mean barber you could put yourself in danger or risk having an atrocious haircut.

Now, there are other ways to get bangs as well. This is what I did.

All my sisters have bangs, and my younger sister has cut her own a few times so we have scissors and clips perfect for bang-making. When I was ready to get bangs, I told my little sister that I wanted to and she helped me cut my own. I did aweful and she evened them off. So if you are too scared to go to a barber like a big girl, just cut your own bangs. Probably buy the equipment and do your research first, but then go for it!

Bangs can really help you to feel more confident and if you think you could rock them, then I say give them a try!

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That's all for today! Thanks for reading and I hope you learned something!